A Bag of Balls
Or, what Santa brought Larry Bird.
Monday December 24, 2007 at 1:25pm
An Old Fashioned Christmas
It's not my family, but I thought it stirred something in the heart.
Sunday December 16, 2007 at 12:58pm
My Place, on Show Your Blog Space Day
First of all, those stickers on the desk drawer - the coffee shop I frequent puts one on each cup to prevent coffee from leaking out of the "sip hole". I take them, and either hide them on various things in the kids room, or on my wife's underwear (which goes over big, believe me), or, after learning my lesson not to do these things, they get stuck on the drawer.
You can catch a glimpse of the secret stash of Cheezits that had been forgotten in the other side's bottom drawer for who knows how long - after I took this shot, I checked them out, and they were beyond stale. Imagine Civil War Hard Tack with a cheese flavor. They were tossed.
Photos of the kids and wife are scattered along the desk. Lots of paper, the remote is for the mini-stereo, and, of course, the obligatory coffee cup.
Friday December 14, 2007 at 10:59am
Elfing Me, Elfing You
Based on the blizzard of Elf Yourselfs I've received from easily amused friends, some OfficeMax marketing dweeb ought to have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Tuesday December 11, 2007 at 12:45pm
We Need Some New Hand Gestures.
I want something universal to express my displeasure with careless driving while talking on cell phones. How about a middle finger pointed straight down while vigorously thrusting your hand up and down? That could work.
Also I'd like a gesture for drivers who navigate the wrong way down parking lot rows at the mall. The spaces are angled for a reason, genius. And see those arrows painted on the pavement? Right now, I'm blocking their way and glaring at them until they back up. Merry Effing Christmas, putz!
Monday December 10, 2007 at 11:34am
The Heartbreak of Ba-Donk-A-Donk Butt
Every day on the ride to work I pass a billboard from a plastic surgeon offering to fix "ba-donk-a-donk" butt. But according to the Urban Dictionary, it doesn't sound that terrible.
"An extremely curvaceous female behind..."
"A large and shapely female behind, especially one that bounces or jiggles..."
"A term used to describe buttocks of exceptional quality and bounce ..."
"Amazing bootie...so much that when she walks it looks like it is trying to talk to you, or or trying to get out of them pants"
Any ba-donk-a-donk sufferers out there who can clear this up?
Sunday December 9, 2007 at 8:33am
Violence Towards Christmas Decorations
Leads to violence against people.
A smashed Santa and a decapitated snowman led to a shooting in Polk County Friday.
A violent confrontation happened in Central Florida over Christmas decorations, WESH 2 News reported.
Polk County deputies said Matthew Lankford drove over his neighbors' front-yard Christmas display in Winter Haven, crushing an inflatable Santa and knocking the head and magic hat off a snowman's head.
Neighbor Douglas Sheldon went to confront Lankford, and wound up with a bullet in his leg. Police said Lankford shot Sheldon.
Bo Sheldon, the victim's brother, said there's a trail of blood and destroyed decorations on their front yard.
Lankford faces attempted murder charges.
Tuesday December 4, 2007 at 3:10pm
How To Handle Bloggers
According to cantankerous Philadelphia Daily News columnist Bill Conlin
The only positive thing I can think of about Hitler’s time on earth–I’m sure he would have eliminated all bloggers. In Colonial times, bloggers were called “Pamphleteers.” They hung on street corners handing them out to passersby. Now, they hang out on electronic street corners, hoping somebody mouses on to their pretentious sites. Different medium, same MO.
I like Conlin and this is a "satiric" comment taken out of context from an email exchange about Jimmy Rollins MVP award - so don't jump down his throat!
But just too good a quote to pass up.