PSoTD

Bring protective gear for basketball with PSoTD!

Without you and your partner alternating the traffic flow through six month construction bottlenecks in day-glo yellow vests with cigarette butts dangling from your lips, how would we ever complete our daily commutes?

(How long till lunch break?)

And we'll be sure to proceed with caution, if you'll just let us be that one last car through!

(Mr. Stop/Slow Sign Flipper Guy!!)

Apparently a language dies every two weeks.

A warning from Muhammad Abdel-Al of the Palestinian terror group "The Popular Resistance Committees"...

“If I meet these whores I will have the honour - I repeat, I will have the honour - to be the first one to cut the heads off Madonna and Britney Spears if they keep spreading their satanic culture against Islam ... If these two prostitutes keep doing what they are doing, we of course will punish them."

Everybody's a critic.

Never heard of her.

You know you're getting old when you've lost track of the latest bimbos.

Saw these for the first time at the A-Plus mini-mart today! Hershey continues their campaign to water down their brands beyond recognition.

Anybody try one yet? This guy wussed out just like me ...

So we now have a mixture of chocolate, peanut butter and banana creme, just in time for Elvis' 30th deathday (even though you and I know he's not really dead anymore). They call it the special edition KING size (get it — because Elvis was/is the King) peanut butter cup. It's bigger than usual and features a picture of the snarling, singing Elvis back in his '70s heyday of jumpsuited righteousness. It's a special version because, as we all know, Elvis loved his peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

So naturally, I felt had to sample one, even though I knew it would produce a Cascade Mountain Range of facial acne before I got to work. And, as we all know, there's nothing more attractive on the face of a 40-year-old man.

I picked it up, turned it over, and accidentally read how much fat was in one of those things. I now know why Elvis had a hard time squeezing into those white jumpsuits back in the '70s.

I bought a PowerBar instead — after I couldn't find a giant head of lettuce.

I ran into somebody else in the Harrisburg area who went to California State University, Sacramento. The odds of another person doing this are very high, the odds of me meeting that person by chance are probably... unbelievable. But it happened.