In the wilds. Okay, not exactly.
There I was, at CVS, on Valentine's Day. In the candy section of a pharmacy. Yes, there I was, giving in to the expectation that I must buy my wife some candy for Valentine's Day. It's not like we're a household devoid of candy. There's candy left over from Halloween, leftover from Christmas, and my mother-in-law sent some crate of See's Candies just a few days ago. We probably have more chocolate in our house, by sheer weight, than we have of butter and margarine. Maybe I should use chocolate on my toast tomorrow instead.
So much chocolate. And still... I felt it. Required. Destined to buy chocolate, or destined to be doomed if I didn't. I looked at the ravaged CVS shelves. There were those hearts with words on them. There were heart gummies... actually a lot of that. Who thought that was a good idea? Why not heart pepto-bismols, or heart Cheerios, while they're at it? Then there were the Whitman samplers, at least some. Most that were left looked like they'd been knocked over in a brawl, or used for late night floor hockey. There was this bizarre concept of chocolate covered fortune cookies. I guess you can sell anything for Valentine's Day if it has chocolate on it. Why doesn't CVS move their chocolate Exlax to these aisles? Why doesn't Exlax have some special red and white packaging for this time of year? Oh, the missed opportunities.
I wasn't alone in the aisle. There were many of us, hovering, mulling, probably all disappointed with the remaining choices. Surprisingly, there were only a couple of men, but several women. Well, I was surprised. A little embarrassed, too - I thought I might be able to sneak in at 2:30 and make my guilty purchase with fewer witnesses. No such luck. We all went through the same drill - looking at items on the shelves like a beachcomber reviews a half-buried shell, until deciding that it better be grabbed before the next wave (or shopper) took it away, then, after bothering to pick it up, deciding to return it to its original place, so some other force may remove it later.
Way in the back of one shelf were a few Hershey Truffles in a heart-shaped box. Perfect. I snagged it and practically ran to the card aisle. Mine, all mine! The selection in the card section was actually prettu good, and I was able to find one that fit my MO - a little humor, a little sweetness, a little raunchiness.
My wife is very nice. She acted surprised and delighted when she received these. We had a deal - no gifts - but both of us broke it, albeit not by much. It was one of those kinds of no gift deals.
You might wonder why I chose to go to CVS for my Valentine's Day shopping on Valentine's Day. The answer? Experience! Let's just say, I've been there before. Thanks , CVS!
